Brownie cookies to ease my mind

 

Do you know that there are words that are mostly useless in this world.  One of them is "sorry."  When the word "sorry" is used, it's often associated with wrong doings with the intention of asking for forgiveness.  

Anyway, It's been a while since I wrote on this blog. I'm sorry for the long absence.  Oh, did you see what I just did....I just asked for forgiveness of my long absence.  But whether I am forgiven or not is not really that important.  It is just perfunctory.  Honestly, how many people would have cared.  The word "sorry" in this context really meant nothing.  Of course the seriousness of the matter is nothing either.

Then what if the seriousness of the matter is much more important.  For instance, losing an opportunity that leads to a dire situation or worse an incident that causes injuries to another person.  In this type of situation, the word "sorry" is most likely offered numerous times.  But opportunity needed at that time is gone and injuries were already inflicted.  The word "sorry" is really not for the victims but for the person that causes the problem.  This is because in many cases, the word "sorry" is useless to the victims.  But perhaps, the word "sorry" might offer consolation to the person who is the source of the problem.

Let me share with you an incident that occurred to me.  I have been in the dumps for a while now due to many reasons.  To make the long story short, I am in short of money, and was unable to find a decent job despite all that college education I have.  So, I picked up an odd job at a warehouse.  As an hourly wage worker, every hour of my sweat is money that I desperately need.  However. one day, my boss came to me and said, I need to clock out because I had worked more than I should according to regulation.  Hey,I may be poor, but not dump.  I asked for the reason as I knew I have not reached the maximum hours that regulation had mentioned.  But my boss insisted that I clocked out.

I was tired as I was working night shift.  Plus in a labor intensive work, I really do not have much energy to reason my way though, so I went home.  However, I realized I was penalized for clocking out early since I didn't fulfilled my required work hours.  I later found out that everything that had happened was an error on the management part.  So, when I confronted my boss about the matter...you guessed it, I have given that most useless word, "sorry."  Really, did sorry help me earn more money? The opportunity for me to earn more money is gone.  I had to tighten my belt a few more notches because or some errors with the management.  I was given many "sorry" but no one really understood the damage that was done.

What is the situation is more dire, especially in an abusive situation.  "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."   Huh, the word "sorry" is really useless in my opinion.  In an abusive situation, whether it is verbal or physical abuse, it is something that is already done and cannot be taken back.  Just like squeezing out the toothpaste from it's tube, you can never put it back.  Sorry is absolutely useless. The pain and the hurt that were inflicted never disappear.

It's funny how the word "sorry" was offered to the victim, which is absolutely useless.  But to the person who offered the word, it justified his/her wrong doings.  It give that person consolation, because of that mentality, "I already said I am sorry."  Now, do you see why I think the word "sorry" is actually one of the most useless word in the world.

  

Along with the word "sorry," another useless word is "why."  Why?   Haha...that was meant to be funny.  Just like sorry, "why" is equally useless.  Of course, this is context depended.  Asking why in the classroom is very much welcome word by teachers.  But when asking "Why my life sucks?" The word "why" becomes a useless word.  There is no why in such context.

You can tell, I have been pondering on this word for a while now, especially when my life is currently in the dumps.  The word "why" often popped up in my mind.  "Why my life is in the dumps?"  "Why this happened to me?"  "Why can't I have a peaceful life?"  "Why can't I be happy?"  Well, there are plenty of "why" I can continue, but they are all useless.  Because, there are no proper answers to them.  The best answer I have is, "It's karma." Yes, it must have been "karma."  Of course, this is not the answer I was looking for.  Then again, what was I looking for.  In this context, the word "why" is really useless.

In my current situation, I don't need "sorry" or "why."  I just need money.  But I don't have enough money, so I can only eat brownie cookie to ease my mind.  I just need something delicious to suppress my stress.  Haha...does it work?  Well, you will just have to try it.

Here's the link to the recipe I used:  https://ciao.kitchen/brownie-cookies/

Steam Dumpling

Steam dumpling or paotzu is a common meal among Chinese.  Of course a favorite in my family.  When I first made paotzu, the whole process seemed complex.  But once the I had the dough down, paotzu can be an everyday item. 

These day, I often make it, especially mantou (steam dough without fillings).  Mantou is can be eaten as a rice substitute.  It is one of my favorite for breakfast.  Can be eaten plain or together with other side dishes. 

Hard to say no to such a versatile food.

Homemade Ramen

 

In my family, no one can say no to ramen.  Well, we're a japanese household anyway.  But this is definitely one of our family's favourites. 

Every part of ramen is time consuming and special in its' own ways.  First off, the soup.  It is a whole day task.  I usually combined chicken bones and pork bones to make the broth.  This a slow process since it must be simmered for at least 3 to 5 hours for good broth.  The beginning part of the process is the most tedious. This is another of those time, where I pull a chair and my trusty lap top where I slowly skimmed out the "aku" (the white scums that floats to the top as the soup simmer in the beginning part of the process) while watching K-drama.  Once, the soup stop producing "aku" I will let it simmer without care for the next few hours with the lid on.

Then, there's the charsiu (roast pork).  There are many types of charsiu which can be used for ramen.  But I like the roasted version.  There is another version which stewed the rolled up pork belly tied in strings in a good amount of marinade.  But I think this way a soy sauce consuming effort.  Besides, I like roasted meat.

After marinating the chunk of pork (I do not use port belly, but pork shoulder or the butt for a little mixture of fat), I just dump into the broiler for 45 min (depending on the size) and turning it half way through.  I find this way simple and tasty.

The noodles, I often just use packet ramen noodles.  But I have tried to make hand-pulled noodles for my ramen, which turned out good, but the effort was time consuming.  I would have like to make ramen noodles, but it was hard to get lyme water which is a critical ingredients for ramen noodles.  Plus I don't have noodle machine to make the thin or curly shape.

One all three (skipped the noodle making), my ramen can be plate-up (I mean bowl-up).  This of course is at least at 3 day process.  One day for prepping the charsiu meat (marinade at least a whole day before roasting).  On second day, prep for soup.  And at the same time, I can roast the charsiu.  Once these two are done either I can have my ramen that night, or the following day.

Happy slurping!!!

Peanut brittle

 Peanut brittle sound western, but I often have this when I was a child growing up in Malaysia.  Those days, it was never one of my favorites.  But today, I missed them, mostly because I can not get it easily.  So, with the help of Google-sama, I finally found a good recipe to try out.

Asian peanut brittle has sesame in it, but I cannot get good quality sesame here where I am at, so, I skipped them.  Recipe is quite simple, but having too much is really not pretty to the teeth.  The brittleness of peanut brittle comes from the hardened caramel (basically cooked down sugar with butter in this case).

I limit myself to one to two pieces a day if I were to eat, otherwise, I am probably going to have cavities. Hahaha!!!  Anyway, I like to have them around.  Why?  Because us, humans are just weak to sweets.  It is good way to sooth my "glass heart" as many Chinese might relate to this.  What is "glass heart"?  You know, a heart that is easily broken....well, I have days where my heart seems to crack.  I need sweets to glue it back.

Cheesecake Souffle

One of the best creation in our culinary is dessert.  I truly believe we need to have sweets in our dietary system.  Why?  Because it is one of the best ways we can slow down and enjoy a relaxing day.  So, when I am tired or feeling a little broken, what do I do.  I think of sweets to give my emotion a lift.

Yes, I am a normal human being, with ups and downs as well.  So, when I am feeling a little blue, a little down, I make one of my favorite dessert---cheesecake souffle.  Tones of recipes when you google.  Very easy to make but takes time to bake (water bath for one hour).  I often makes it in the evening and unmold it in the morning.  This is just right for my breakfast.  Believe me, it pairs well with coffee.

What better way to make my day first thing in the morning?  Eating good dessert with a cup of my favorite coffee.
 

Chinese New Year 2021 dinner

 My husband is Japanese and I am Chinese Malaysian.  So, this is what happened when we have cross culture celebration.  Tonkatsu, steam garlic shrimp and stir fry vegetables.  And since it was Chinese New Year celebration, I didn't have miso shiro but meatball soup.

Actually, this is more of a every day meal than celebration meal.  Why?  Well, didn't have variety of ingredients to make fancy festive meal. Plus, I was tired of doing a lot when I am the only one cooking.  Imaging all the cleaning I still have to do.  You wonder why my kids and husband are not helping, well, it's a working week.  No holidays here where I am at.

Oh well, I can just do the best I can.  It was still a good meal.  Coming a little late, but wishing all a prosperous and healthy 2021!!!

Pineapple tarts for Chinese New Year

 Pineapple tarts, a favorite of my daughter.  Also, a popular must have cookies for Chinese New Year celebration in Malaysia.

It is hard for me buy this here where I am at.  Of course, this means I'll have to make it myself.  With the convenience of online recipes available with just a quick search on Google, I immediately went to work.

First of, the pineapple jam...of course this needs to be made ahead of time.  Easy right.  Yeah, just time consuming.  But with the wonders of technology like the food processor, I don't even have to grate the pineapples like how olden days pineapple jam was made.  With a blitz, my pineapple pulp was ready to be cooked down with sugar into thick jammy consistency.  Yeah, this is where I pull a chair and my little computer with K-drama playing while I stir the pineapple pulp occasionally while it simmers,

Once the jam is done, now on to the next step, the cookie dough.  I just pick the recipe with the nicest picture.  Hahaha...I cannot tell if it taste good or not until I made them, but at least the picture looks good.  Most cookie dough recipe available in the Internet are simple, so, I was able to make that in one trial.  Once the dough is done, chilled for at least half-an-hour.  Then it's ready.  Rolled it out, cut out with cookie cutter and put a dollop of pineapple jam on top.  Recipe even make thin strips to criss cross on top of the jam, but I find that too much work just to buff up the ecstacticness.

Preheat oven at 350 F, popped the trays into the oven and wait for 15 to 18 min.  I like my cookies a little brown.  They are done.  Quite simple right, but it is a 3 days job (I took my time).  One day for jam, another day for dough and final day for shaping and baking.

All in all, it was a satisfying effort for my non-festive Chinese New Year here where I am at.